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Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons

Cartoons about courts and courting.

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21. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2015-11-09 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-11-09 Pub. Date: 2015-11-09
Image Number: 135153
Caption: Thanks to a Supreme Court ruling, companies have quietly added language to contracts the effectively ends people's right to sue. Fine print no one has time to read. We may elect to resolve claim by arbitration. Our justice system is being replaced with a private, corporate-friendly alternative. The people judging these cases are often friends of the company! Eh, if it's not about goofy politicians or sex, I don't care. What if ordinary citizens were given the legal powers corporations now have? Before you hire me, you must sign this agreement to appear in a secret court judged by my homies. Our fine print would be awesome. Disputes: The fat cats at Globoplundimaxx agree to reimburse me for any erroneous charges x 1,000 plus $1 million to my mom for her judging services, plus a bowl of M&M's with the green ones removed under penalty of ... Damn arbitration clauses!
     
22. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2015-06-29 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-06-29 Pub. Date: 2015-06-29
Image Number: 129207
Caption: The Right's Rights. Some people are outraged by recent Supreme Court rulings. (Man) + (Woman) only. I've been denied the right to deny the right to marry! League for Liberty to Limit Liberties. Now people are no longer free to be prohibited from buying health insurance! This will only lead to more businesses being forced to bake gay wedding cakes! My life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness depend on denying health insurance claims! The Founding Fathers would be appalled!
     
23. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2015-04-13 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-04-13 Pub. Date: 2015-04-13
Image Number: 125699
Caption: Hillary Clinton. Pro vs Con. Will keep healthcare reform, saving countless lives. Supported Iraq war, dooming countless lives. Now flying rainbow flag. Sponsored bill to ban burning the U.S. flag. Vows to fight economic inequality … partly caused by her husband deregulating Wall Street. Friends with Bono. Friends with Kissinger. Would prevent total destruction of the Supreme Court. Can't do much about Scalia. Would be first woman Prez. Hard sell in a country that can't even put a woman host on a major late-night tv show. She's the only realistic choice. She's the only realistic choice.
     
24. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2014-08-03 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-08-03 Pub. Date: 2014-08-03
Image Number: 114866
Caption: Quiz Time. Can you identify which of the following are considered First Amendment rights and which aren't? according to U.S. courts? A. Unlimited money given to political campaigns by corporations and shadowy interest groups. Krudd for Senate HQ. B. A corporation's religious beliefs as expressed through insurance benefits provided by a third party. Corp. charter. Contract with insure Co. InsureCo. Employee. Rx. CEO. C. Florida doctors informing patients of the risks of keeping firearms in a home with children. D. Undercover videos made by journalists revealing animal cruelty and other illegal behavior at factory farms. Answer: A & B are protected and C & D aren't, silly!
     
25. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2014-07-27 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-07-27 Pub. Date: 2014-07-27
Image Number: 114548
Caption: Sincerely Screwed. A Colorado judge recently ruled against the town's ban on fracking. "While the court appreciates the Longmont citizens' sincerely held beliefs about risks to their health and safety, the court does not find this is sufficient to completely devalue the state's interest." Bam! So ... "sincerely held beliefs" are protected when they are religious beliefs of a store that sells glue-on googly eyes ... Hobby Lobby. Sex is only for making baby box stores. But not when they are held by actual people and grounded in observable scientific reality. Pumphouse Brewery. Would it help if I called that the Devil? So if you want to keep fracking out of your community, you'd better pray. Works about as well as voting apparently.
     
26. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2014-06-30 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-07-01 Pub. Date: 2014-06-30
Image Number: 113344
Caption: Buffer Buffoonery. The Supreme Court recently struck down a "buffer zone" law for abortion clinics while having its own protester-free zone that is many times larger. Massachusetts law: 35 ft. around clinics. Supreme Court buffer. Shouldn't the justices be as exposed to the "free marketplace of ideas" as a woman seeking an abortion? Repent. Your honor, please come to our Legal Crisis Center for some free counseling! They'd just have to take their chances and hope none of the activists are violent. Constitution killer! We the People. Things would change real fast. it being self-evident that no one should have to put up with this s#*t ... we're reversing our ruling on buffer zones.
     
27. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2014-04-28 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-04-29 Pub. Date: 2014-04-28
Image Number: 110892
Caption: Racist Idiot PR. "Who let the dog whistles out?" Having trouble with a racially-charged gaffe? All you need is a little media training. First, take a cue from the L.A. Clippers owner and act like you were momentarily possessed by a racist poltergeist. Klanner the Bigoted Ghost. Say "I'm upset that these sentiments are being attributed to me. Klanner did it." Second, when scapegoating black people, use terms other than "negro." Sensitive racism for the 21st century. Newt Gingrich said "The African-American community should demand paychecks and not be satisfied with food stamps" and he still gets on tv. And if you want to silence minorities about Affirmative Action, pull a John Roberts and accuse them of discrimination. If they mention race, they're racists. You'll be ready for prime time in no time!
     
28. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2014-04-07 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-04-08 Pub. Date: 2014-04-07
Image Number: 109990
Caption: Get Your Words' Worth. John Roberts on campaign finance: The government may no more restrict how many candidates a donor may support than it may tell a newspaper how many candidates it may endorse. Like, duh! So, dollars are equivalent to words, which makes exactly as much sense in reverse. That'll be three pronouns, please. As the owner of a large book collection worth billions of words, would you consider donating some to my campaign? Vote me. Of course, Roberts isn't very good at recognizing absurdity. I'm just saying money talks, so it's not corrupting. What's so hard to understand here?
     
29. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-11-18 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-11-19 Pub. Date: 2013-11-18
Image Number: 104201
Caption: Hygenia, Greek Goddess of Wellness in Hell Bent for Healthcare. Iconic bowl and snake. 2010. Dammit, the Americans need my help again. First, I had to put up with thee bozos. No Death Panuls. The Supreme Court almost killed Obamacare, but I had a little talk with John Roberts. Don't even get me started on Ted Cruz. And now: The website's broken! Guess we should give up. Healthcare.gov. Try again later. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH? Will the goddess be defeated by a website? Stay tuned!
     
30. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-11-11 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-11-12 Pub. Date: 2013-11-11
Image Number: 103997
Caption: LEGAL HORSEPLAY. Looking to pass a law that won't fly with the public? Maybe something racist, or otherwise unconstitutional? Trojan Tommy. Attorney-at-Law. Come on down to your Trojan Horse Source! A satisfied customer: I wanted to overturn Roe v. Wade, but Tommy has this great idea about regulating clinics to "protect women's health." Now I just practice looking concerned and leave the rest to him! Another satisfied customer: I wanted to make it harder for minorities to vote. Tommy came up with voter ID laws, which help to prevent those people - I mean, prevent fraud. Genius! The courts are stacked with right-wing judges, so there's no better time. Bill. GIDDYUP!
     
31. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-07-15 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-07-15 Pub. Date: 2013-07-15
Image Number: 99391
Caption: An ugly decision. The Iowa Supreme Court has reaffirmed its ruling that a male boss can fire a female employee for being too attractive. It's not about gender. It's about saving this man's marriage! Seven crusty dudes. Ladies of Iowa! Worried that you'll be fired for being a looker? You need this! Iowa Worker Protection Kit. Do you have the Jenkins Files? Right here, sir! If you are fired, call the hotline. Union for the unemployably hot. Oh, he saw you without the disguise? I'm sorry. Let me put you on babe stamps. 1-800-Too-Foxy. Unfortunately, overturning the decision will be an uphill battle. As all of us have been distracted by picturing the plaintiff's lawyer naked, we'll have to declare a mistrial.
     
32. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-04-01 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-04-01 Pub. Date: 2013-04-01
Image Number: 95410
Caption: Good news: There's only a handful of people left in the U.S. who seriously oppose gay marriage! Bad news: They all sit on the Supreme Court. Surely they have lofty reasons for objecting. Let's ask Scalia. Homosexual sodomy? Come on. For 200 years it was criminal in every state. (Actual quote from Oct. 2012) Okay, then clearly he's try to protect our constitutional right to condemn gay sex. It's right here! Section 6. Each citizen shall be free to exclaim "Ew, pervy!" at the thought of hot and sweaty patriot-on-patriot (or Lady-upon-Lady) acts of sexual congrefs. So let's compromise: Gays can marry and Scalia can come to the ceremony and voice his concerns. Any objections to this marriage? Yes! It's grody! Thank you, sir. I now pronounce you legally wed.
     
33. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-11-06 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-11-06 Pub. Date: 2012-11-06
Image Number: 89654
Caption: CEOs have grown increasingly brash about inflicting their politics on employees. If you don’t vote for my candidate, you will lose your jobs and DIE. W. Whatawidget. Soon: A new Supreme Court ruling! Since corporations are BIG PEOPLE made up of lots of LITTLE PEOPLE, it's only logical that they can vote on behalf of all their TINY PEOPLE-PARTS. Swing states quickly become popular with businesses. Another company announced plans to move its headquarters to Cleveland today. And voting becomes ... Streamlined. I'm sorry, ma'am, your corporation has already voted. But you can still have a sticker! I Voted.
     
34. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-09-17 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-09-18 Pub. Date: 2012-09-17
Image Number: 87671
Caption: So much of presidential races are about the personalities of the individual candidates. I don't vote for a party - I vote for the best man! But what we're really electing is a social network. Linked in. Willard Mitt Romney. Boston, MA area. Mitt has 53,271 connections. Batty casino magnate. Bush-era neocons. Wingnut thing tanks. Of course, speaking in these terms just isn't sexy. Campaign 2012. And now for the latest in the race between two extensive webs of people and institutions from which regulators, ambassadors and supreme court justices will be chosen. Many people will just never get it. I'm voting for whoever has the most beautiful children! I'm voting for whichever candidate likes pudding pops!
     
35. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-08-27 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-08-28 Pub. Date: 2012-08-27
Image Number: 86901
Caption: A court has ruled that graphic warning labels on cigarettes violate corporate free speech. Tobacco smoke can harm your children. Llama. Because a deadly product marketed by multinationals is just like a citizen petitioning the government. Yes, we must protect cigarettes' freedom of expression, lest we wind up like Russia. All-tobacco punk band "nicotine riot" jailed for protest. The struggle for cigarette liberties dates back to the founding butts! Minuteman Lights. Give me the ability to kill people or give me death! Australia and Britain may allow the graphic warnings, but as a judge Janice Rogers Brown
     
36. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-08-01 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-08-01 Pub. Date: 2012-08-01
Image Number: 86650
Caption: WEALTHCARE. The right-wing Supreme Court justices were bitterly divided on health care. But there was one little-known ruling they all agreed on. We must protect the health of CORPORATE CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTIONS! Under the new Wealthcare law, all pre-existing conditions are covered. From bill tears ... To viral infections. Account Balance $4,712,893. ! Security Alert. All political money shall receive free checkups. I've lost my voice, I've been speaking on behalf of so many lobbyists! Happens all the time! To: Senator Doofus. One million & 00/100. "Better wealthcare means putting America's greatest ORATORS back to WORK! Hi-ho, hi-ho! It's off to Congress we go! To: Senator Doofus. One million & 00/100.
     
37. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-07-02 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-07-02 Pub. Date: 2012-07-02
Image Number: 86664
Caption: WEALTHCARE. The right-wing Supreme Court justices were bitterly divided on health care. But there was one little-known ruling they all agreed on. We must protect the health of CORPORATE CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTIONS! Under the new Wealthcare law, all pre-existing conditions are covered. From bill tears ... To viral infections. Account Balance $4,712,893. ! Security Alert. All political money shall receive free checkups. I've lost my voice, I've been speaking on behalf of so many lobbyists! Happens all the time! To: Senator Doofus. One million & 00/100. "Better wealthcare means putting America's greatest ORATORS back to WORK! Hi-ho, hi-ho! It's off to Congress we go! To: Senator Doofus. One million & 00/100.
     
38. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-04-02 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-04-02 Pub. Date: 2012-04-02
Image Number: 86652
Caption: IF BUYING BROCCOLI WERE LIKE BUYING HEALTH INSURANCE. Because some Supreme Court justices can't seem to tell the difference. Broccoli! Broccoli! Bewildering Jargon. Stalk Pay … $0. Sprout Rider … $200. Floret Fee … $50. Cruciferous Subtractor … $100. High Risk Brocco-Pool. How much is this? You might need a lot of broccoli someday, so that'll be $500 a head. Denial of Vegetable. I'm sorry, ma'am. You can't buy that because you have pre-existing Chlorophilia.
     
39. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-08-22 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-08-22 Pub. Date: 2011-08-22
Image Number: 89284
Caption: Slowpoke. The supreme court may soon strike down election laws that give public financing to poorer candidates - on the grounds that it infringes on the free speech of rich candidates. The government is penalizing the privately-financed candidate for engaging in unfettered political expression! Makes sense to me! That's right: Giving more speech to the poor means you're taking speech from the rich. Coming soon: Free speech debates! People begin holding up signs showing their annual income before speaking. Looks like I'll be doing the talking here! 21,000. 475,000. And so ... Notice: The last panel of this cartoon will not be shown, so as not to infringe on the First Amendment rights of Heritage Foundation cartoonist Albertus "Champ" Waddsworth IV.
     
40. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-06-25 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-06-25 Pub. Date: 2011-06-25
Image Number: 89275
Caption: Slowpoke. Welcome to Ball*Mart. The conservative majority on the supreme court just killed a class-action lawsuit against Wal-Mart despite overwhelming evidence of sex discrimination. The company has written a policy against discrimination, so it can't be sued. Duh! Actual reasoning. Um ... Clearly we should only concern ourselves with companies that have officially gone on the record with their sexism. Recruitment video. At Galactabank, we're proud to be an unequal opportunity employer. Bros before hos, as we like to say! But short of that, what would it take for Scalia to see a problem? Ball*mart executive boardroom. Bitchez keep out. Under my thumb! Seems fine to me! Perhaps if glass ceilings were tinted? Bonk. See? It's really there! Hmm ... No, I still don't see it. Management.
     
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