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Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons

Cartoons about courts and courting.

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41. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2010-09-12 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-09-12 Pub. Date: 2010-09-12
Image Number: 89895
Caption: Slowpoke. Law Information Nation. Duh? Only 34% of Americans know if Obama is a Christian. 72% can't name the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Uh … Thurgood Marshall? 8% said this! What if Americans were as ignorant about pop culture as they are about politics? Tiger Woods cheated on his wife, you say? Yeah, RIGHT! Where'd you hear THAT? Snooki? That's like, a cross between sex and snuggling, isn't it? No way - It's a PERSON?! Lebron WHO? Wasn't he the guy who sang "Super Freak"? She's a very kinky gi-irl ... Lady Gaga ... I believe that's a brand of Tater Tots. I LOVE those things!
     
42. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2010-03-01 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-03-01 Pub. Date: 2010-03-01
Image Number: 90484
Caption: Slowpoke. Free Speech Koans. The Supreme Court has ruled that corporate spending to sway elections is protected "speech." This raises deep philosophical questions! If a citizen speaks, bit has no money to buy a TV ad, do they make a sound? Senator Bilge: Squirrel Sodomizer. If money is speech, can we pay out bills with opinions. I can't pay my rent this month, but I CAN give you a half-hour lecture on the folly of subsidized corn. If the pen is mightier than the sword, is not a multi-million dollar media campaign mightier than the pen? Look, my letter to the editor supporting Senator Bilge was published! Squirrellgate: Bilge Sinks In Polls. HAW HAW! He porked a squirrel!
     
43. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-05-18 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-05-18 Pub. Date: 2009-05-18
Image Number: 91016
Caption: Slowpoke. Abnormal Delays. Courts have ruled again and again that Al Franken won the Minnesota Senate Race, but Norm Coleman won't pack it in. What stall techniques might he try next? Insist on mapping Al Franken's entire gene sequence. If he doesn’t allow it, then he obviously has something to hide. More specious accusations of vote tampering. The Norwegian mafia hid ballots in a pot of Lutefisk! Speak REALLY slowly. WWWIIIILLLLL NNNNOOOOT COOONNCEEEDE ... Declare health emergency. Nothing can happen until the threat of swine flu has passed. If all else fails, claim: No fair! The voters are biased!
     
44. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2008-08-11 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2008-08-11 Pub. Date: 2008-08-11
Image Number: 91248
Caption: Slowpoke. For a self-proclaimed literalist, Judge Scalia seems to see an awful lot of things in the 2nd amendment. "A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." Obviously this does not allow firearms for felons or the mentally ill, or in schools, or government buildings, or concealed or "dangerous and unusual" weapons ... But handguns are a right! DUH! Where does all this special insight come from? Our experts have concluded that Scalia belongs to the RUMPIST school of legal thought. Majority Opinion. His rulings come LITERALLY out of his ass. As you can see, a handgun fits neatly within the confines of Scalia's posterior. Censored. If it's in there, it's in the CONSTUTITION! Yes, we can thank Scalia for protecting us from that scourge of the courts - THE ACTIVIST JUDGE! Excise me everyone, I need to make a "narrow interpretation." Men's Room. Ah, just as the framers intended!
     
45. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2008-05-26 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2008-05-26 Pub. Date: 2008-05-26
Image Number: 91238
Caption: Slowpoke. Welcome to That Drooly Show! With me tonight is Herb Swineshaft, inventor of the popular new novelty item, the Hillary Nutcracker.* It crushes walnuts between her stainless steel legs! Krk! Hee hee hee! *For real. So, I assume you're also selling a John McCain Nipple Clamp, since women's rights would be pinched hard by his Supreme Court nominees? Screw tightens jaw. Censored. Uh, no. Hadn't thought of that. Or if you're really into selling bigoted election merch, what about an Obama "Gangsta" sawed-off shotgun? The Oblamma! I think some people might find that offensive. As opposed to Hillary cracking metaphorical gonads with her thighs? Right. Well, thanks for joining us, Herb. Before we go, tell us- what can we expect from you next? A hilarious line of suffragette urinal cakes! Thank you, Mr. Swineshaft!
     
46. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2007-01-01 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2007-01-01 Pub. Date: 2007-01-01
Image Number: 92342
Caption: Slowpoke. "Lilly Ledbetter suffered nearly two decades of pay discrimination at Goodyear. In a 5-4 ruling, the Supreme Court denied her claim because she didn’t file within 180 days of the initial discrimination, which occurred before she knew what was going on." Now Goodyear has billed her $3,165 for court-related expenses! You owe: $3,165. What's next from Goodyear? Tires for her. Exactly the same as other Goodyear tires, but they cost 30% more! Goodyear Lady Driver. The ALITO. Roll over famous women's rights supporters! Elizabeth Cady Stanton. Betty Friedan. Susan B. Anthony. Goodyear. ALITO. "Let Them Eat Rubber!" ... And be on the lookout for the new blimp! Goodyear. Tough Titties.
     
47. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2006-01-01 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2006-01-01 Pub. Date: 2006-01-01
Image Number: 92676
Caption: Slowpoke. Earn Your Vote! The Supreme Court recently rejected Vermont's campaign finance law, once again ruling that money is a form of "free speech." The more money you have, the more speech you get. It’s the law! But why stop there? Clearly the next logical step is to assign personhood based on income! Since the average CEO makes 821 times the minimum wage, CEO's shall count as full persons and minimum wage workers as 1/821 person - about the size of a little toe. $4,228/hr. 1 vote. $5.15/hr. 1/821 vote. Slimebold TM has already developed a voting machine prototype that uses the new system. Just enter your social security number ... The machine retrieves your income tax return and assigns you a fraction. It's that simple! SS#. Income: $21,400. Personhood: 1/411. Slimebold. Sure, some might protest. Bit that would be class warfare. Earning your vote: It's the American way!
     
48. Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2004-01-01 court 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2004-01-01 Pub. Date: 2004-01-01
Image Number: 92668
Caption: Slowpoke. Anthropology of a Trend. It all began when the lead singer of the band Cyclopian Hippo appeared onstage with a sock hanging mysteriously from his pocket. Within days, hipsters around the city were sporting the new look. We are surrounded by sockless people. Cattle. Clothing manufacturers quickly seized the opportunity. This week we roll out the brand new Levis Sockpocket TM - the jeans that come with a sock pre-attached! The nation's malls filled with pre-attached sock-wearing pubescents. Omigod, that guy's sock is in his left picket! That means he's gay! Hee! Hee! Hee! Hee! Food Court. The style eventually saturated the mainstream, where it was taken to grotesque lengths. Now on sale at All*Mart. NFL TM. Cargo Sockpants. A sock for every team! Hipsters, recoiling in horror, detach their socks and begin wearing sausage link necklaces. Look at all these sock-dangling dorks. Weenies.
     
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